And now, my ‘Special Comment’ about today’s election…

Category: Blog — @ 2:16 pm January 25, 2011

by Tim McMahan, Lazy-i.com

Because there’s nothing going on tonight (in fact, there’s nothing going on this week until Friday from a music vantage point) and in honor of the late, great though self-important, pompous and overwrought Mr. Olbermann, I bring you my “Special Comment” about today’s election. If you don’t give two shits about politics or if you live outside of Omaha, I’ll see you tomorrow when we resume our regular programming. That said, there is a local music/venue spin to all of it, and it’s this:

One night recently I visited one of my favorite local bars, bellied up to the counter and ordered my usual Rolling Rock. Ye kindly ol’ bartender brought me my cold green glass of America’s Finest and said, “It’s $4.50 now. We had to raise the price 50 cents to cover Suttle’s entertainment tax.” So now in addition to the outrage of having to pay $4  — premium beer prices — for a beer that’s as common as Budweiser or PBR, here I was having to spend an extra 50 cents because the bar wanted to make a political statement to mask its greed.

The “entertainment tax” instituted under Mayor Suttle’s administration amounted to around a 2 percent tax on booze and food. Last I checked, 50 cents is not 2 percent of $4. So who is really benefiting from the tax? Bars and music venues like the one I speak of who upped their prices a full 12.5 percent. Do you think these outraged bar owners who want Suttle’s head on a stick are going to drop their prices once they get him out of office and repeal the 2 percent tax. No, they’re not.

If I sound matter-of-fact about this election it’s because I know Suttle will lose for the simple fact that most of the intelligent liberals I know are lazy pieces of shit who won’t go to the polls today, unlike the Teabagger Republican a-holes behind this recall effort — one of whom bears an unfortunate resemblance to our past and future mayor, Hal Daub. Regardless of your political views (or view of reality) you have to hand it to the conservative goon squad. They got out there, they spent the money (or got the local right-wing millionaires to spend their money), and they got it done. Say what you will about the GOP, they’re not lazy.

In fact, it dawned on me that after the election and the inevitable return of Hal Daub to office that I should immediately start a recall effort to get rid of him and base it solely on my dislike of his dumb-shit policies. I know that if I got enough signatures to get his recall on a ballot, that he, too, would get removed from office for no other reason than I dislike his point of view. But that won’t happen because liberals and free thinkers are generally lazy people who are satisfied with merely winning some sort of intellectual internal argument rather than deal with reality. They just assume everyone around them is a dumb shit and that there’s no holding back the Great Wad of Stupidity that engulfs politics. And though they may be right, they end up losing elections.

Don’t agree with my cynical point of view? Than do something about it. Get off your lazy ass, turn off your television (or in the case of my typical reader, lift the tone-arm on that rare, limited-edition 7-inch) and go to the polls and vote against this mindless recall. I know it’s a pain in your ass. I know you “already voted for the mayor once.” I know that in the back of your mind you think that going to the polls is “giving in” to the fuckwits that are behind this effort by even acknowledging this ass-fist election. Yeah, it’s their game, but you’re playing it whether you want to or not. By not showing up and filling in the “no” oval, you’re letting a minority of dunces shout over your voice. You’re letting them take away your point of view. It’ll take two frickin’ minutes to vote, and your actions will send a message to the mighty Nebraska GOP/Teabagger/conservative a-holes that we’re here and we’re not going away.

Or prove me right and sit on your ass and let Suttle go down in flames. Look, I figure my 50 cents is already gone, and it ain’t coming back.

Don’t let me say “I told you so.” It’s your call. Maybe I’ll see you at the polls.

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Read Tim McMahan’s blog daily at Lazy-i.com — an online music magazine that includes feature interviews, reviews and news. The focus is on the national indie music scene with a special emphasis on the best original bands in the Omaha area. Copyright © 2011 Tim McMahan. All rights reserved.

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10 Comments »

  • I just want to say that I love that you used the term “ass-fist”. That phrase doesn’t get tossed around with anywhere near the amount of frequency it deserves and demands.

    Comment by Karl — January 25, 2011 @ 2:21 pm

  • God damn Tim,
    I wish I could participate in this; however, I’m in Saudi Arabia right now visiting family at the last minute due to a family emergency. Your post made me want to charge up with passion.
    Thanks.

    Comment by Nayef Aljuraid — January 25, 2011 @ 4:17 pm

  • I saw two voters from Elkhorn turned away from voting early yesterday. If they’re not suppose to vote on this issue than their signatures on the recall petition shouldn’t have been counted, either. I’m alarmed that the business community found a way to silence the voice of the voters. They’re stealing an election.

    Comment by Mhat — January 25, 2011 @ 4:19 pm

  • Bravo, Tim.

    Comment by Skirkster — January 25, 2011 @ 5:42 pm

  • Sadly, I no longer live in Omaha, but I was home for the holidays. One morning I got brunch with some friends at Wheatfields (also there that morning was the loathsome Lee Terry sitting there shoving a preposterously-sized cinnamon roll into his dumb face). When we got our bill, right there at the bottom of the receipt was a line that said “Mayor’s Tax.” I found this baffling as the words “Mayor’s Tax” make it seem ominous and scary and were clearly there to invoke some sense of rage. But then it just seemed silly because the amount was so little — couldn’t have been more than $1 on a relatively big bill. Is this commonplace? Are most restaurants labeling this line on the receipt or do they fold it into the Tax line?

    Either way. Ten points, Tim. Great column.

    Comment by Rick — January 25, 2011 @ 6:26 pm

  • Thanks for writing this excellent article, Tim. More and more, I feel that we (people living in the United States of America) are going to have to hit rock fucking bottom, in many many ways, before things change/can be changed/are changed for the better. Or maybe not, which would likely be worse.

    It would have been nice if you could have tossed in a “shitheel” here or there in the article, though. All the best.

    Comment by David — January 25, 2011 @ 10:03 pm

  • Yes. Snarky messages on food receipts have become somewhat commonplace since the tax has passed. Another one I can remember was labeled “Police Retirement Fund”. Being a sarcastic prick, I don’t mind so much, but the impression it leaves in the minds of less thoughtful people is somewhat troubling.

    Comment by M Bowen — January 25, 2011 @ 10:19 pm

  • As I understand it, the 2.5% food/bev tax is actually levelled against the bars and restaurants themselves, and it’s up to them whether or not to pass that cost along to their customers. One of my favourite locals held out on passing the cost onto us, but having to pay out an additional 2.5% of their sales without taking in anything extra takes its toll on a business, so I don’t fault them at all for eventually raising the price of my sweet pint of PBR to $2 (even if it does take away from my parking meter fund).

    That being said, I think I’ll be off for a nice, cold one.

    Comment by Nic — January 25, 2011 @ 11:34 pm

  • This just in: Suttle Still Mayor, McMahan Sheepish About Calling Liberals “Lazy,” “Lazy Pieces of Shit” and “Lazy Asses.”

    Comment by Pedro — January 26, 2011 @ 11:47 am

  • […] Yesterday’s Special Comment: I humbly and proudly stand […]

    Pingback by Lazy-i » Kasher debuts Pop Matters’ vid interviews; Azure Ray/Sparklehorse, Bright Eyes mp3s; Buffett does a header… — January 26, 2011 @ 1:51 pm

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